Parents play an important role in their children’s college athletic recruiting process but in a way that most wouldn’t assume. Obviously, as a parent you want the best for your child. But don’t let this blind you from what IS actually best for your child.
So many parents make the of coddling their children throughout the whole athletic recruiting process and not giving them free reign to do it on their own. In reality, all you are doing is hurting your child.
Let’s look at why…
Your child isn’t 11 anymore and the last thing you want to do is hold his hand all the way through this process. You’ve done your job preparing him up until this point but its time to let him take initiative on his own. This can be a huge learning opportunity for him to see how the “real world” actually works and functions.
Coaches are looking keenly at this and weighing all of their options during athletic recruiting. Who do you think a coach would rather recruit? A kid who took the initiative to reach out to them, follow up, and organize everything on his own OR a kid who’s mom or dad did everything for them?
College coaches are going to be spending 4 years of their life with students they recruit so you better believe they want to see how they handle different situations. The athletic recruiting process is a great way for them to learn what type of person you are. If your parents are doing everything for you, it’s a good indication that this will persist in college as well. Most coaches don’t want to have to deal with that type of a headache for 4 years.
Calling the same coach every other day is annoying and will probably not end well for you or your child. Imagine 100 other parents calling you 2 times a week telling you how great their kid is. Not a pretty scene is it?
Coaches know that if you’re calling, emailing, messaging them this much now, then you will be doing it even more when your child is away from home attending college. Coaches don’t have time to deal with this, so don’t be this type of person.
Now the actual role as a parent in the recruiting process is to give your child all the support and resources they need to do things on their own. This can be information, money, emotional support, help, guidance, Etc.
When they start their athletic recruiting process let them know that this is their thing and that you will be there for them whenever they need help with anything. Give them the information for what they will need to do and then let them go do it. If they need help throughout the way you will be there for them.
It gives your children confidence in themselves and experience handling “real life”. It can also give them a great deal of confidence in themselves. This can be a great opportunity for them to grow and develop into adults. The last thing you want to do is rob them of this experience by doing everything for them.
Now when it does come time to make a final decision for where they will commit too, this should be a family decision.
Parents can and should talk to coaches but should do so with discretion. One phone call a week is a good number to stick too. When you’re speaking to them you don’t want to be overly boastful about your child. Instead, you can discuss more of the technical things. Financials, academics, coach/player relationship, etc.
Parents, think of this whole experience as a time where you let your child be an adult and make adult decisions. They are still in under your roof where you have control of them but soon they will be away in college away from you. So use this experience as a stepping stone into their adult life.